Parenthood between care and identity failure: relational trauma and emotional dysregulation in the tv series “Little Disasters”
Edited by: Dr. Massimo Lattanzi and Dr. Tiziana Calzone Institutions: Italian Association of Psychology and Criminology (AIPC), Italian Center for Relational Psychotraumatology (CIPR), and National Observatory on Family Homicides (ONOF).
The series exposes the difficulty of maintaining the role of caregiver when a parent's psychic resources are exhausted.
- The Illusion of Control: The protagonist, Liz, attempts to adhere to an omnipotent model of parenthood. When the reality of a newborn (inconsolable crying, sleep deprivation) clashes with this ideal, an identity fracture is created.
- The Readiness to Provide Care: This is not an innate and immutable gift, but a function that depends on the parent’s ability to regulate their own internal state. In the series, we see how fatigue becomes a cumulative trauma that erodes the capacity for attunement with the child.
Emotional dysregulation: when the system collapses
In the Relational Psychotraumatology model, emotional dysregulation is the signal that the parent has moved outside their "window of tolerance."
- Hyper-activation (The Explosion): Liz experiences moments of sudden anger and loss of control. In these moments, the nervous system perceives the child’s need not as a plea for help, but as an attack, activating aggressive defense responses.
- Hypo-activation and Dissociation: To survive the guilt and exhaustion, the mind may "disconnect." The series shows these moments of emotional detachment where the mother is physically present but psychically absent—an unconscious delegation of the affective function that leaves the child in a relational void.
Delegation and isolation: The "watershed" of silence
A central theme is the difficulty of delegating tasks. Liz cannot ask for help because delegation is experienced as an admission of failure.
- The decisive watershed: As observed in AIPC clinical profiles, education and socio-economic status (Liz is a doctor, as are her friends) often act as a shield. Professional competence is used to deny internal fragility, preventing access to healing.
- The betrayal of the trust pact: When the suspicion of maltreatment enters the circle of friends, the "Care" dynamic becomes tainted. The friend, who should be a support, becomes a judge, exacerbating the protagonist's dysregulation.
Analysis of dysfunctional dynamics
Through the series, we identify three vectors of dysfunctionality:
- Traumatic legacy: Liz's past influences her present. The unresolved pain of her own childhood is reactivated through contact with her son’s vulnerability (compulsion to repeat).
- Role reversal: The parent seeks reassurance from the child or from the outside world, losing their own guiding function.
- Secrecy as a defense mechanism: Concealing one’s states of dysregulation for fear of losing custody or social respect.
Conclusion: The need for integrated support
Little Disasters teaches us that the "little disaster" is not the accident itself, but the silence and loneliness that precede it. The transformation of suffering into healing requires the recognition of one's own dysregulation.
If you feel that the weight of parenthood is exceeding your capacity for regulation, or if you live in fear of judgment for your emotional fragilities, CIPR can help you.
Through the SVITR Scale and the use of Biofeedback, we help parents return to their window of tolerance, transforming threat into a new possibility for a secure bond.
Contacts AIPC and CIPR (Pescara - Rome):
Email: aipcitalia@gmail.com
WhatsApp: +39 3924401930
Website: www.associazioneitalianadipsicologiaecriminologia.it
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