The geometry of transgenerational trauma: Stendhal's triangular desire as a vector for dysregulation and traumatic resonance

By: Massimo Lattanzi and Tiziana Calzone

Affiliations: AIPC (Italian Association of Psychology and Criminology), CIPR (Italian Center for Relational Psychotraumatology), ONOF (National Observatory on Familial Homicides).

Abstract

This work proposes a clinical reinterpretation of Stendhal's taxonomy of desire, translating the concepts of "Triangular Desire" and "Mediator" from the literary field to the neurobiology of trauma. We hypothesize that the triangular structure constitutes the mechanism of complex transgenerational trauma transmission. The "Mediator," internalized as a dysfunctional parental figure, acts as a chronic trigger that expels the subject from their Window of Tolerance. The most devastating clinical consequence of this dynamic is Relational Traumatic Resonance: a neurobiological feedback process in which the dysregulation of one partner amplifies that of the other, trapping the couple in an "autopoietic bubble" of suffering. Through the analysis of two clinical cases (ASVS/SVITR protocol and Biofeedback), we illustrate how to interrupt this resonance to foster self-regulation.

1. Introduction: from authenticity to pathogenic mediation

Stendhal’s literature offers an operational model for mapping the dynamics of relational dysfunctionality. Stendhal distinguishes two geometric forms of desire that find a direct parallel in the physiology of stress:

• Romantic (Linear) Desire: A direct trajectory between subject and object. Neurobiologically, this corresponds to a nervous system operating within the zone of safety, capable of authentic social connection.
• Modern (Triangular) Desire: The linearity breaks toward a third vertex: the Mediator.

From a psychotraumatological perspective, the Mediator is the projection of an unresolved trauma. When desire becomes instrumental for self-validation, the relationship ceases to be a place of affectionate exchange and transforms into a battleground for identity survival.

2. The mediator as trigger and relational traumatic resonance

The presence of the Mediator (the introject of a dysfunctional parent or an unattainable ideal model) transforms the other person not into a partner, but into a trigger. The direct consequence is Relational Traumatic Resonance.

2.1 Definition of resonance

Traumatic resonance is not simply the sum of two individuals' neuroses, but an exponential multiplication of dysregulation. It is a neuroceptive phenomenon in which one partner's Autonomic Nervous System (ANS) "hooks into" the other's dysregulation, interpreting it as an immediate vital threat.

2.2 The Mechanics of Resonance (The Closed Circuit)

A negative feedback loop is created where one person’s exit from the Window of Tolerance inevitably causes the other’s exit:

• Activation: Partner A is triggered (e.g., by a tone of voice) and enters Hyperarousal (Anger/Attack).
• Resonance: Partner B's mirror neurons and neuroception detect the aggression not merely as distress, but as a life-threatening danger (reactivation of childhood trauma).
• Reaction: Partner B reacts by entering Hypoarousal (Dissociation/Flight) or by counter-attacking.
• Confirmation: B's reaction (e.g., detached silence) acts as an abandonment trigger for A, who intensifies their acting out.

In this state of resonance, co-regulation (calming each other down) becomes biologically impossible.

Listen to the podcast on the AIPC Editore Channel on Spotify, MENTE|CRIMINE|TRAUMA: "La geometria del trauma transgenerazionale: il desiderio triangolare di Stendhal come vettore della disregolazione e della risonanza traumatica." Click on the link:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/6zKVk4EKbI3ucBBV7IZSKd?si=oVOhzMlyR8uMmjiDS7rZwQ

3. Neurobiological correlates: the dysregulated window of tolerance

Traumatic resonance constantly maintains subjects outside their Window of Tolerance, oscillating between two dysfunctional poles:

3.1 Internal Mediation: Hyperarousal and Acting Out

In competition with the Mediator/Partner:

• Physiology: Dominance of the Sympathetic System. Increase in heart rate and skin conductance.
• Acting Out: The excess energy is discharged through aggressive or controlling behaviors. The agito (acting out) serves to "throw out" an intolerable activation.

3.2 External Mediation: Hypoarousal and Collapse

In idealization of the Mediator/Partner:

• Physiology: Dominance of the Dorsal Vagal system. Collapse of heart rate, immobility.
• Passive Acting Out: Social withdrawal, numbing, submission. It is the strategy of the animal playing dead to survive the predator.

4. Clinical application: breaking the resonance with biofeedback

CIPR applies an integrated protocol (SVITR + Biofeedback) to interrupt the circuit of traumatic resonance and restore self-regulation.

Case 1: Marco (hyperarousal) - disarming the ignition

• Resonance Dynamic: His wife's passivity activated Marco's explosive anger (fear of being ignored as in childhood).
• Biofeedback Intervention: Marco was trained to recognize the spike in skin conductance before verbal acting out.
• Result: He learned to use breathing techniques to re-enter the Window of Tolerance, preventing his anger from "resonating" and terrorizing his partner.

Case 2: Elena (hypoarousal) - exiting the freeze

• Resonance Dynamic: The partner's aggression activated an immediate shutdown (dissociation) in Elena, which in turn further enraged the partner.
• Biofeedback Intervention: Work focused on increasing Heart Rate Variability (HRV) to give flexibility to the vagal system. Elena learned to "feel" her body instead of abandoning it.
• Result: Interruption of the victimization mechanism. By exiting the freeze state, she was able to set verbal boundaries, breaking the complementary victim-perpetrator resonance.

5. Conclusions

Relational trauma is perpetuated not through words, but through Traumatic Resonance: an invisible and devastating dialogue between dysregulated nervous systems. Stendhal's triangular geometry perfectly describes this impossibility of direct contact.

Healing requires the shift from dependence on external regulation (which always fails in trauma) to self-regulation. Only when the individual learns to manage their own physiology, escaping the grip of triggers, does the traumatic resonance fade, allowing for the possibility of a Linear Desire, free from transgenerational ghosts.

Storybook Links (provided in original text):

Storybook for young adults: https://gemini.google.com/share/d85ea6ace685

Storybook for adults: https://gemini.google.com/share/263f05653ef8

Bibliographic references and contacts: For further details on clinical protocols for interrupting traumatic resonance:

Email: aipcitalia@gmail.com

Web: www.associazioneitalianadipsicologiaecriminologia.it

WhatsApp Phone: 3924401930

Hashtag:
#italian center for relational psychotraumatology #femicide #national observatory on familial homicides #italian association of psychology and criminology #relational traumatic resonance #partner paradox #relational bubble #complex post-traumatic stress disorder