Masculinity, emotional dysregulation, and "self-medication" strategies in couple conflicts: A psychotraumatological analysis

Edited by: Massimo Lattanzi and Tiziana Calzone

Entities: Italian Association of Psychology and Criminology (AIPC), Italian Center for Relational Psychotraumatology (CIPR), National Observatory on Domestic Homicide (ONOF)

Reference Link: Psypost - Masculine personality traits predict drinking after romantic fights

Abstract

This article examines the relationship between gender orientations and post-conflict alcohol consumption through the lens of relational psychotraumatology. Based on research published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, the analysis focuses on how masculine personality traits predispose individuals to marked emotional dysregulation following relational stress. It is hypothesized that alcohol use is not merely a social behavior, but a form of "self-medication" to manage the exit from the window of tolerance caused by intense negative emotions (anger, helplessness, sadness). The study highlights that masculine orientation represents a stronger predictor of dysfunctional coping than biological sex alone.

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Psychotraumatological analysis of conflict

1. Masculine orientation as a vulnerability to dysregulation

Modern psychotraumatological research suggests that identification with traditional masculine traits may be associated with less flexibility in impulse regulation. Data show that individuals with a high masculine orientation experience a collapse of Self-stability after an argument, manifesting peaks of:

• Anger and Helplessness: Typical emotions of traumatic hyper-arousal.
• Sense of Isolation: The perception of feeling "unheard and alone."

These emotional states push the subject outside their window of tolerance. In this context, alcohol acts as an emotional anesthetic to shut down a nervous system incapable of processing conflict in a narrative and conscious way.

2. Gender differences and defense mechanisms

While masculine orientation correlates directly with alcohol consumption due to the intensity of negative emotions, feminine orientation presents a more indirect and internalizing path.

• Feminine Orientation: Associated with vulnerability, embarrassment, and jealousy. In these cases, alcohol consumption appears to be a defense mechanism to manage anxiety and guilt.
• Universal Factor: Jealousy emerges as a transversal mediator, acting as a universal trigger for dysregulation and subsequent "acting out" through substance use.

3. The "telescoping" phenomenon and clinical risk

It is essential to note that although men historically consume more alcohol, women present a faster risk of developing addiction once abuse begins (telescoping). This data underscores the importance of a clinical assessment that goes beyond biological data to achieve a profiling of personality and the degree of familiarity with relational trauma.

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Conclusion

The research by Rodriguez et al. confirms that post-argument alcohol consumption is strictly linked to the inability to regulate negative affects. From the perspective of relational psychotraumatology, the "repetition compulsion" of these patterns can only be interrupted through clinical education and the widening of the window of tolerance. Without specialized intervention (such as the paths offered by CIPR), unresolved relational trauma transforms couple conflict into a catalyst for addictions and acting out.

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